Watch Out, World! Here Come the Marauders!
by Angelauthor14
Summary: Smile, cry, and wet yourself with laughter at the tales of the irresistible Marauders. Oneshot. Please review! Rated for mild language.


Authors note: Well it was a draw, between Quidditch, babysitting and psychic toddlers and Watch out world here come the Marauders and so I decided to do this one because I had finally found it so I wanted to get it up before I could lose it again. Plus it was already written so I just had to type it up. I hope you enjoy it and please please please review!

Watch out world! Here come the Marauders

Part one: Breakfast with the Marauders.

"Abricaposis," James Potter muttered with a casual flick of his wand.

Sirius Black's bed suddenly bucked and threw him off. He smacked straight into the wall on the opposite side of the room.

"PRONGS!" he bellowed

"Padfoot, old friend I am so sorry I had no idea that would happen" James replied with a smirk that showed very clearly that he had known exactly what he was doing.

"Why couldn't you wake me up like a normal person?" Sirius growled, he had clambered to his feet and was making his way back to his bed.

"Cuz this was is much more fun!" James beamed.

Grabbing a pillow Sirius advanced on his best friend. Within seconds a pillow fight had broken out. Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were awoken by the commotion and quickly joined in. Half an hour later the four friends had flopped down on a bed panting.

"I won" James claimed.

"As if!" Scoffed Sirius.

The fight was about to continue when Remus gasped. They swivelled round quickly. A scene of devastation lay before them. Glancing at the clock Remus saw that it was only 6AM.

"How early did you get up?" He asked Sirius accusingly.

"Me, ME! It wasn't me! Prongs woke me up!"

They all turned to James.

"Woke up, couldn't get back to sleep, didn't see why you should all get the privilege" He said cheekily.

The others couldn't help but laugh. They talked until 7.20 which was the earliest time you could go down to breakfast. They didn't go down straight away though, that would damage their reputation.

The second the clock switched to 7:30 James ran for the bathroom, Sirius grabbed hold of his legs but laughing James squirmed free and locked the bathroom door behind him. Remus proceeded to put the dormitory straight and repair a few pillows. Sirius sighed and flopped back on his bed.

"What lessons have we got today Moony?" He asked gloomily.

Remus paused and thought hard.

"Double potions"

Sirius groaned

"Then after break its Transfiguration"

He groaned again

"Free period"

Sirius cheered.

"Lunch and then care of magical creatures" Remus recited.

Sirius buried his head in his pillow.

"That's not that bad" Remus lectured. "Care of magical creatures is good and you're brilliant at transfiguration AND we've got a free period, I thought it was quite a good day" Remus finished cheerfully.

Sirius surfaced and looked at Remus as if he was mad.

"Double. Potions. With. The. Slytherins" He said slowly "how can anyone call that a good day?"

Remus shrugged. Just then James came back in the room a towel wrapped round his waist. Water dripped from his hair and he shook it out of his face.

"You normally dry yourself _in_ the bathroom Prongs" Sirius joked before sprinting into the bathroom himself.

James pulled his robes on then carefully messed up his hair until Sirius came out and Remus put down his book and hurried in there himself. Before long James, Sirius and Remus were all ready.

"Hurry UP Wormtail" James moaned.

"Well you all went in the bathroom in front of me" Wormtail whinged over the crank of the ancient shower.

"Yeah but we all take about 10 minutes and you take more like 20" Sirius retorted.

"You take even longer than Prongs and Padfoot do to sort out their hair" Remus joked.

He then had to run for his life as Sirius and James chased him. All thoughts of waiting for Peter flew out of their heads. They rushed down the stairs into the common room. James and Sirius pursued Remus round and round the arm-chairs and tables. Peter bounded downstairs as they were on their 15th circuit.

"Help us get Moony, Wormtail" Sirius commanded.

The chase continued until suddenly Remus clambered through the portrait hole. Yelling cheerfully the others followed. One of the advantages of being a werewolf, Remus reflected, was being fast on your feet. Panting he sped to the great hall, he swerved suddenly as the Gryffindor table came into view. His swerve was perfectly angled, another of the few advantages of being a werewolf.

It only became apparent of why he had swerved when the others came closer. Professor McGonagall was in the middle of their path with a frown that reduced first years to quivering messes.

James swerved with only a slight skid and Sirius did the same. They had quick reflexes from being on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Peter however, as neither a werewolf or a star Quidditch player, could not stop and bowled down Professor McGonagall herself! They ended up in a crumpled heap on the floor.

James offered a hand to his professor who took it got back on her feet . She swept dust off her robes and straightened her hat. She then began yelling at Peter. James and Sirius howled with laughter and even Remus had to bite his tongue hard to stop a splutter of laughter that was just aching to come out.

"You're never going to let him forget this are you?" Remus whispered

"Are you kidding?" Of course not, this is a classic!" Sirius answered.

James just laughed harder than ever.

Part 2: The secret slips out.

Despite their early start they still had to gobble their breakfast to get to potions on time. Potions was the Marauders worst subject. James and Sirius excelled in every subject except Potions, where they just got average marks. Remus hated Potions because all the smells were agony on his extra-sensitive werewolf nose and Peter, well Peter didn't get good marks in _any_ of his subjects.

Their failure at Potions was particularly annoying because Snape, their very worst enemy, was brilliant at it. Therefore they spent as much time vandalising Snape's potion as they did making their own. This lesson was no exception, James had already 'accidentally' dropped a load of newts eyes in and Sirius had levitated lots of beetles in too. Remus never took part in these activities and Peter was still sulking from the weeks worth of detentions he had received from McGonagall.

James had another reason for vandalising Snape's potion and that was Lily Evans. James had always fancied her and she was very good at Potions too so if Snape's (Her only competitor) was rubbish then she would take all the glory. He would never say that to his friends though!

The lesson passed quickly and James was pleased to note that Lily's potion was announced best in the class. Even his and Sirius's was better than Snape's. Remus's was as well and Peters? Well, errrr, Peter's was about the same as Snape's.

Snape went a bright shade of magenta when his mark was announced, P, Poor. James and Sirius could not stop laughing. They all packed away and Snape was first to leave when the bell rang.

The Marauders headed for their favourite tree and spread out underneath it. This was the way they normally spent their break. As always it passed far too quickly and before they knew it they were under the stern eye of Professor McGonagall in Transfiguration.

It was six to a table and the Marauders took their usual table at the back. The four of them were joined by two pretty Gryffindor girls who were shamelessly flirting with Sirius who was playing up to it to the best of his potential. James and Remus chuckled to themselves, exchanged looks and rolled their eyes but Sirius didn't notice. Peter was too busy transfiguring his rabbit into a pair of slippers. Professor McGonagall smiled as she watched them.

Suddenly Sirius said something that made the two girls gasp, James whirled around and slammed Sirius into the wall.

"Immobilus" he yelled

The whole class found that they could no longer move. Professor McGonagall was on her way to break up the fight but found that she couldn't move either.

"Muffilato" James shouted

Everyone's ears filled with a curious buzzing. As hard as Professor McGonagall strained her ears she could not hear a word. She could see James shouting at Sirius, Remus looked white as a sheet. What had caused James Potter to shout so much at his best friend? To her knowledge he had never found fault with him before and he protected him fiercely of anyone else who did. So why was he so angry?

She thought suddenly of what she could do. She thought of cats. She had a picture of one clearly in her mind and she could feel herself transforming. She could now move freely and hear. She couldn't stop Potter as a cat and if she changed back she wouldn't be able to move or hear again and so as James had not noticed that she had transformed she decided to just listen.

"You disgust me Sirius, how could you? Just to impress a couple of girls!" James raged.

"I didn't think! I didn't realise! I didn't tell them who the werewolf w-w-was" Sirius stuttered.

He was obviously not immobilised then, McGonagall thought.

"And you think that they wouldn't have found out, that they would just let it lie? That they wouldn't put two and two together and work it out!? You idiot Black, you absolute idiot! Moony trusted us and you nearly betrayed him just for a date. Is a small bit of glory worth more to you than one of your best friends?"

"I-I-I didn't mean to"

"You are in Gryffindor Sirius, _Gryffindor!_ Your best qualities should be loyalty and bravery and intelligence, none of which you have just shown. All you have shown is that you can betray a friend in a heartbeat, you are too cowardly to own up to it and and and… you are stupid as well!"

"I **DID NOT** betray Remus! I said _nothing_ about Remus and I wish I had said nothing at all. I have owned up to it! Else why would I be letting you pin me up against a wall? And I know I was stupid and I am really really really sorry! If I could just go back in time, take back what I said…."

Sirius sounded broken, McGonagall had never sounded that way before. She glanced at Peter, he was chewing his fingernails worriedly.

"I feel so awful. I know you will all hate me now" he continued.

"I don't hate you" James said quietly.

"What should I do Prongs?" Sirius whispered.

"It was a mistake" James said briskly, obviously feeling that his friend had had plenty of punishment. "You're going to move on"

"Thank you…I don't deserve a mate like you"

This was such a completely un-Sirius thing to say that Professor McGonagall's mouth dropped open. She had never seen Sirius Black so emotional in her life.

"Nonsense, I've made enough mistakes myself and you're going to make me start blubbing in a minute!" He accused

"Thanks, you know for making me see sense" Sirius said shakily

"Yeah, well, You'd do the same thing for me"

This was a pause as they each were absorbed in their own thoughts.

"erm… can you let me down?" Sirius asked with a hint of a smile on his face.

"What? Oh! Sorry, yes of course"

James let Sirius drop down on to the floor.

"Your heads bleeding" James said concerned

"Oh yeah Prongsie, that might have been something to do with you slamming it into a concrete wall" Sirius said sarcastically.

James grinned at him and they hugged. Professor McGonagall was starting to wonder if she was asleep she had never seen the Marauders so emotional! And who knew James could be so wise!

James pointed his wand at each of the girls in turn and muttered something. Their faces suddenly went blank.

"Won't remember anything that happened in the last hour" James said cheerfully.

Sirius couldn't put into words exactly how his friends support made him feel. He wasn't sure he would still be friends with himself.

James whispered a few words and flicked his wand and the class started to move again. They immediately went into little huddles to whisper 'what was that all about'

Professor McGonagall remained a cat, Moony had not said anything yet and a cat disguise enabled her to move closer.

"I'm really sorry Moony" Sirius whispered.

Moony began to whisper furiously about what a prat he was.

"Give it a rest Moony" James whispered

"That's fine for you to say! Your secret wasn't nearly exposed"

"Yes but everyone is looking and they might hear. I agree that you have every right to shout at Padfoot but wait until the dormitory later. Besides he's been yelled at enough just now" James said calmly.

He glanced over at Sirius who looked more upset than James had ever seen him.

"He won't do it again" James said confidently

"How do you know? He did it once didn't he?" Moony whispered furiously.

"I trust him" James said simply. "I would trust him with my life besides everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. Sirius will learn from this one, Besides…" He said casting a sly smile at the other Marauders. "Marauders never do the same thing twice"

They all had to smile at that.

Part 3: The full moon outing

The class had been dismissed and the Marauders were requested to stay behind. McGonagall questioned them crossly but none of them would tell her anything, she already knew of course but they didn't know that.

So Sirius had nearly spilled the secret, she thought to herself, and James had really let him have it. Well surprises would never cease. At least there was no lasting harm done as the girls memories had been modified courtesy of James Potter. She glared at them all before saying;

"Mister Black, you need to go to Madam Pomfrey to get that head looked at"

In more ways than one she added silently.

"We'll go with him" James said

He left the room pulling Sirius, Remus and Peter after him. She thoughtfully watched their retreating figures. She decided that it was best for them not to know that she knew what the argument had been about as they obviously didn't want her to know. James had obviously decided that Sirius had had enough punishment and shouting and James was probably right.

After the hospital wing visit the Marauders went up to their dormitory.

"It's nearly full moon, isn't it Moony?" James asked

"This weekend" Remus replied

James felt a rush of anticipation and excitement flood over him. The other Marauders looked at him curiously, wondering what scheme he was masterminding now.

"I reckon this time we should paint the town red!" James exclaimed.

"You mean like drinking, singing, dancing and whatever?" Remus asked sceptically.

"Like a party!" Sirius said brightening visibly.

"I mean we go to a nice old deserted field and eat food, we will be in our animal form so we cant drink or sing or dance" James reminded them. "And then we go and prank people, we can get Sirius to go and stand in windows and things and make people think they have seen the grim again, that was hilarious last time!"

Everyone was agreeing enthusiastically.

"And then just to prove that we painted the town red in every sense of the word we can really splash red paint all over Hogsmead." James finished.

All of his friends were staring at him, Sirius in admiration, Peter in fear and Remus in horror.

"We can take fire-whisky too, to warm us up in the morning when you've changed back. We can't buy any because we don't want anyone to see us or they will put two and two together and realise we did the painting. And we must be back before Madam Pomfrey arrives to collect Moony."

"But its vandalism!" Moony protested.

"Nonsense Moony, they're wizards aren't they? All they have to do is wave a wand and its all gone!"

Remus protested weakly but it meant too much to him to have his friends with him for his transformation to try and put them off so apart from a few half-hearted attempts at lunch and in care of magical creatures he was silent. Much to Sirius' relief it gave Remus something to think about and he seemed to have forgotten about shouting at him.

All went according to plan and that Saturday night any late night travellers who went past The Greys farm would have seen a very strange site. A wolf, a pure white stag, a rat and a large black dog were all sitting in a circle. In the centre was pumpkin pasties, chocolate frogs, Bertie Botts every flavour beans, chocolate éclairs (all had been carefully opened before hand as hooves and paws can't open wrappers) and raw steaks (the wolf was devouring them).

The animals found it surprisingly easy to eat, the food was just laying on the floor and they just put their heads down and picked it up in their mouth, the food was touring over Peter so he just climbed into/onto the food and chewed away.

The animals ate until they were stuffed and then after a quick hole was dug courtesy of Sirius the leftovers were pushed in and the hole filled in. Then the assortment of animals stood up and ran towards the village.

When they reached the out-skirts the Wolf was barred from going any further by the stag. The wolf did not put up a fight, it was full from the food earlier on. The rat scurried to the corner so that it could look out for people. Then if anyone came they would have warning and then stag could safely get the wolf out of view, both for the wolf's and the person's sake. The dog meanwhile went off in search of someone to scare. The victims were chosen a long way from the wolf so that he wouldn't see them but the stag didn't miss out, they could hear the screams and the breaking of various articles.

After a bit the dog took over from the stag's duties and he ran off and made people jump. They al had a brilliant time. Far too soon for the others liking the stag led the way back to Grey's farm (where they had hidden the paint). The darkness was fading. The dog and the stag collected a bucket of red paint (prepared beforehand) and to everyone's surprise the wolf did too (Remus had said he kept his mind more when he was with his friends).

At the corner of the field the rat guarded the corner again while the stag guarded the wolf, the dog ran off. It was important to be able to understand each other perfectly and their body language as they couldn't talk once they were in their animal forms and it was too dangerous to change into a person around the werewolf.

The dog took a long time but finally came back, an empty bucket swinging between his teeth. He swapped places with the stag who ran to the shopping area and after making sure no one was around transformed back into a human and created his masterpiece. Then he returned with another empty bucket.

The wolf put his bucket down and the rat pushed it to the other side of the street, past the stag was guarding his corner. It looked like very heavy work and the rat was leaning his whole weight against it to get it to move. He had only moved what would have been a persons few paces but he was small and that small journey seemed like miles. He began to throw himself against the bucket and after a while it toppled over. His friends looked at him questioningly. He ran into the pool of paint and then padded round the pavement leaving small prints behind. The dog barked his approval. It didn't take long before he had returned to the group, once again pushing the bucket which was relatively easy compared to when it was full.

The wolf took the bucket from him and the dog lay down so that the tired rat could get on his back. Before they knew it they were back at the Shrieking Shack. Daylight broke and Remus returned to human form with no recollection of the last few hours. The other Marauders changed back and James ran and got the fire whisky from his hiding place. With a flick of his wand they all had a glass and he poured them all a generous amount. When they were comfortable they proceeded to tell Remus about their latest adventure. Then just as the school started waking up they walked casually back to the castle leaving Remus to be collected by Madam Pomfrey.

"The only problem with these adventures" Sirius said later that day "is they bloody knacker you!"

Part 4: Out with a splash!

The Marauders were lying under their favourite tree enjoying a Sunday free from work, well apart from Sirius who invariably left his till the last minute.

"James Potter, my best friend" Sirius muttered as he wrote the words and then neatly underlined them.

Professor Rivers had set them the task of a roll of parchment about their best friend, no one really knew why or what it had to do with magic but homework was homework and it had to be done.

"Haven't you done that yet?" James asked and then paused before continuing "It's due in tomorrow! I did mine _ages_ ago" he boasted.

"That's because I'm such an interesting person!" Sirius joked.

James had to laugh, Sirius always wormed his way out of situations like that and always had good come-backs.

"He is very big-headed" he continued on his parchment.

"Oy! I only wrote good stuff abut you" James complained.

"He's just telling the truth Prongs" Remus remarked lazily.

James turned furiously on him about to retort when Sirius began again.

"Very ugly, retarded, boring and--Arrragh" Sirius was cut off as James pounced on him.

The two were soon rolling around. Sometimes it looked like James was winning but then suddenly they would roll and Sirius was on top. Peter watched entertained and enthralled and Remus put down his book in annoyance.

"Come on guys, all the first years are watching, you're setting a bad example!" Remus said.

"And we care about setting a good example?" Sirius asked before James grabbed his leg and he was pulled back to the floor.

"You're going to get hurt!" Remus continued.

"We're only messing Moony" James panted with Sirius in a head-lock. "We're not hurting each other" he finished.

"Please, just stop" Remus pleaded.

"Not till we have a winner" Sirius choked his face slowly going pink to red to crimson from lack of air.

"You'll get a detention if a prefect or teacher catches you and what if the head boy or head girl sees you?" Remus persuaded.

"Head boy wave, head girl blow a kiss" James said cheerfully.

Sirius chortled.

"Dumbledore's coming this way" Remus warned.

Peter jumped up from the ground guiltily and scanned the surrounding area.

"No he's not" he said puzzled.

"Nice try Moony!" James said with a smile but he had hesitated and Sirius had taken his chance.

He was free. He pounced on James and they were soon rolling around again.

"Anyone would think you were muggles" Remus remarked "why do you prefer fighting to duelling anyway?"

"We like them both the same Moony dearest, sometimes we duel, sometimes we fight, depends on the circumstances." James replied.

"This is your last chance or I will separate you myself" Remus warned.

"I'm shaking" Sirius said sarcastically, sounding slightly muffled as he was under James at the time.

"Yes dad" James joked.

"You sound like a teacher" Peter said accusingly.

"So what's your final answer?" Remus asked

"NO! We're carrying on until we have a winner" James and Sirius shouted at the same time.

Sighing Remus stood up, pointed his wand at the ground and muttered "Mountinino."

The ground started to shake, it rose up and up until it was a massive hill with the Marauders at the very peak, with one quick shove courtesy of Remus they were tumbling down the hill yelling. They went all the way down into Hogwarts Lake which was at the very foot. With another swish of his wand the ground returned to normal.

Coughing and spluttering Sirius and James stood up in the lake. Swearing furiously at Remus.

"I did warn you" He said cheerfully.

It was not often that Remus got one over on Sirius and James and out did them with their pranks.

"This is what's known as going out with a splash" He chuckled and the rest of the Marauders, including James and Sirius just had to join in.


End file.
